True To You: How to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself by Kathleen Smith

New Release

True To You

A Therapist’s Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself

A Guide to The Theory and Practice of Creating Authentic Relationships

When’s the last time you felt as composed as you portray to your boss, family and friends? If there’s a discord between the two, you’re not alone. Humans are master pretenders—we often seem stronger, calmer and more mature than we really are, while the truth is we’re full of doubts and self-criticism that push us to borrow reassurance from friends, beliefs from strangers on the internet, or attention that, in the moment, makes us feel successful, but leaves us totally hollow and burnt out.

TRUE TO YOU is a relatable self-help guide for people who want to learn to live less focused on others’ reactions and more confidently by their own principles. Readers will learn how to:

  • Interrupt relationship patterns that keep you stuck.
  • Rely less on praise and approval from others.
  • Develop a solid sense of self in anxious times.
  • Build more authentic and rewarding relationships.

Dr. Smith uses examples from the lives of her therapy clients to explain how we borrow confidence, calmness, and beliefs from our relationships and offers actionable steps and exercises for building a life with your own best-thinking. With a healthy dose of humor, she unpacks the science of our social nature, explaining why we try so hard to be what others want us to be and how we can start living from the inside out. By learning how to be more responsible for yourself, rather than over-responsible for everyone else, you can find the freedom to develop richer relationships, pursue what’s important to you, and feel steadier in this very anxious world.

The book for overfunctioners, anxious fixers, and people pleasers.

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True to You is a beautiful blend of storytelling, science and practical tools. Smith uses her expertise to introduce true boundary setting tools to build (and rebuild) our relationships to others and ourselves.”

—Eve Rodsky, NYT Bestselling Author, Fair Play

True to You is the book you want when you’re ready to figure out how to change relationship patterns that aren’t working. I learned so much, I might just flip back to page one and start it again!”

—Mary Laura Philpott, author of Bomb Shelter: Love, Time, and Other Explosives

Humans are social creatures, and it is so easy to become more attuned to the group than to ourselves. In this engaging and conversational book, Dr. Smith gives practical steps for spending less time worrying about everyone else’s anxiety, and spending more time becoming the best people we can be.”

—Laura Vanderkam, author of Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters

This remarkable book will change how you approach your relationships, providing concrete tips, strategies, and new ways of thinking that are clear and powerful. Kathleen Smith has spent years studying how to improve human relationships and helping clients do just that. True to You is the perfect book for people who are frustrated at their inability to kick bad relationship habits that make them frustrated and unhappy. This book will help anyone seeking to create deeper connections in their families, at home, and at work. It is an essential read for anyone who wants to make better relationship choices and learn how to be their best and most effective self.”

—Dr. Karl Pillemer, author of Fractured Families and How to Mend Them

If you long to have relationships that don’t make you feel anxious or beholden to another person, Smith’s book will help you get unstuck. This book truly offers a new way to be yourself in the world, have healthier relationships at home and work, and live the life that you want to live.”

—Morra Aarons-Mele, author of The Anxious Achiever: Turn Your Biggest Fears into Your Leadership Superpower

“Reading True to You felt like one ‘aha!’ moment after another, on every page. Smith leads us through this new terrain with such firm encouragement and such a steady, reassuring presence that you will be braver than you thought possible in confronting your own roles in the systems in your life.  I learned so much from this book. I will read it again, and probably again after that. I can’t imagine a single person that this book might not help.”

—Kerry Egan, author of On Living

The Anxious Overachiever

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